35wk - joe is stuck, so am i

just want to blog this, before my disappointment affects baby jeremiah..

just ended skype call with joe.. his offshore assignment has hit a bottleneck and he cant leave the ship soon, which in turn he'd miss his flight to singapore on 5th dec. that will implies i've to stay under this delivery stress longer.. no idea when baby jeremiah will come out; no idea if his daddy will be able to receive him together with me. see, that's why i dare to say i'm a single-mother. i know joe is also in dilemma, he also wishes he could leave now, be here in singapore with me. but reality is that he didnt put his foot down in this assignment. he knew and he has told his team about this delivery, this flight to singapore.. but yet despite completing his assignment, he still cannot leave due to inspection failure. yes, i understand team spirit and work responsibility but this case now is totally different from norm! if my subordinate has to take urgent leave to be with his baby delivery, no one should have any objection, let alone he has completed his task.

in spite of my disappointment, joe still dare to ask me for my support. honestly, how can i support him on his delay now? birth hour is not mine to plan, neither is the doc able to predict. all i can say now is i hope baby jeremiah heard what happened to his daddy and stay inside for at least another 2weeks. my edd is 30 Dec, but doc has told me to be prepare for earlier date as this is my first pregnancy. of course i'd wish baby will stay in even after his edd, but this is really not for me to say. *even so, doc also told me the latest to induce is 31st Dec cos i'm diabetic, might have complications if stay longer*

so.. back to joe's delay. i was really counting down the days to have him around, at least i dont have to live my hours under this ambiguous stress. i try to relax as much as i can, try to act natural like other normal expecting mothers, looking forward to baby's hour. the fact remains deep within that i'm scare, i'm stress.. since i'm back in singapore, every baby preparation, every detail is considered, planned and prepared by me  alone. besides my meals which has stressed my mum *she is kinda at a loss of what i can eat*, i have put my best in taking care of myself, my baby. perhaps it's my fate that i should face these like single mother - someone which i should be years ago.