29wk - hello insulin

i better post this now, since i'm in good (better) mood today..

since my visit to Dr Peter Hwang yesterday, i have to admit insulin injection does help in improving my mood, despite my fear of direct injection into tummy. *it's almost like 'stabbing' myself, seeing the needle peircing in my skin~* of course, i was disheartened - very disappointed (again) when i didnt pass the control test. for the past 7 days, i tried all ways - changing diet, having meals at intervals and even took really manageable meals but all in vain. despite my efforts, i even lost 1kg which is not acceptable for pregnancy! sigh.. what can i do? i did mention that this pregnancy is NOT easy, totally UNlike those i've known.

i wonder what kind of higher calling does my baby jeremiah have.. cos having him is really not easy~! yes, i'm also too weak to have this pregnancy, but yet it happens. i want the best for him, at least a good clean health record, but yet i keep hitting disappointments with my own body. having jeremiah is such a difficult and unusual process, so his calling better be great~

after staying home for past weeks, i managed to pull myself out under the hot afternoon sun for lunch. initially, i really didnt want to go out, no matter how hard my mind tried to convince the body that i should. firstly, i dont like to eat alone; secondly, i've no idea where or what to eat. eventually i settled for cheap hawker food, even though my mind is suggesting some cafes to eat,rest and relax. yes, i injected my tummy in public hawker center, but i didnt care. hello, when you are diabetic, your priority is more of ensuring your health and your baby, rather than the view of those around you. so what if it's 'not usual', it's not as if i've to strip to inject, it's merely revealing a bit of tummy for injection. nothing else matters when my baby's health is concerned.

anyway, i really should go out every thursday for a tea-time break or something.. something which will cheer me up, after cooping at home all week (including weekends). and yes, remind me to bring my glucose test kit, together with insulin pen, whenever i go out. *i had to rush back within that 2hrs to test my blood!* other than that, if i can, i wish someone could carry my bag for me too - it's getting heavier with necessities such as water, medication and now insulin pen and test kit. i might bring a cabin luggage when i go out.