ok, i had some coffee discharge this morning.. with a heavy and worrying heart, i really watched the clock ticked till 2.30pm when i can finally register for afternoon consultation. when i say heavy, it's really HEAVY.. though i still managed to choke up a few smiles with my chinese physician, but my heart was really crunching inside. how i wish someone can just feel right into my womb and tell me what's happening to my baby. i was so so nervous and worried, damn worried .. afterall i had an ectopic pregnancy before. though the chinese physician was kind to share my concern, he couldn't really feel my baby's pulse hence, he agreed to my suggestion to visit gynecologist today, in order to give my mind and heart a rest. *i had a saturday appointment but it's only tuesday today*
that's exactly what i did~! i practically stormed to the gynecologist under the hot hot sun! heavy heart, yes.. to the point, i really didn't know what to expect or say.. i know i should at least say a prayer but i really have no word.. when i finally voiced out my worry to God, the words came easy.. God has this everything all planned. i may not have faith like abraham to sacrifice isaac, but i know God is still in control. then faith arises and fear is somehow diminished. by the time i registered,my heart is kinda settled down with God in control.. then while waiting for my number, i cant help being tickled by fear and so i spoke in spiritual tongue so loud in that spacious waiting lounge *i'm the only person left* for God in control.
i was really so fearful that i didn't know what to tell the gynecologist. when he directed me to the bed, my heart was so so so so heavy for i really didn't know what to expect.. when he probed with ultrasound, he couldn't hear any heartbeat!! OMG! my heart heavy and started to sink.. what should i do? my mind is in a mess.. then he suggested invasive probing with the scope, which is totally ok with me, as long as i can know my baby is safe inside my womb. and then there he is! little black spot on the screen, with a little white moving heart~ and the heartbeat!!! it's so fast~! i am so thankful to God when i heard that heartbeat! what an assuring sound to my ears! a heavy rock was lifted right away~~ this little one is safely nesting inside my womb. ^_^
then all the questions came.. remember i mentioned how busy the gynecologist was? well, this is his partner and less busy so he is quite (very) suggestive on all the pregnancy tests. seriously, after knowing my baby is ok, i really didn't wanted to hear of any other complications that might behold. yet, i thank God for his patience and explanation, i'm now officially a proud mother of 7weeks baby! edd 30dec2013!
too bad, joe was not here with me .. he would have heard the heartbeat too~ seriously, that beating sound is really miraculous! sweet sweet sound from God~! here's the scan of my baby~ ^o^
No comments:
Post a Comment